What Happened?

Between you and I stood nothing
and now everything
everything stands between us.
I don’t recall much of that day except
mushy apples rotting on the countertop
pixelated gold and fading crimson
skin punctured by a bird’s claw
putrefying in your mom’s earthenware

while whiffs of decay overtook our kitchen
you seized hold of my full attention
for the first time in a number of years
we’ll grow lilacs in the dead of summer
you said to show life is still in us.

I lied a million times but the truth is
not as simple as mathematics has it
feelings are lumps of recycled matter
and I told you a million and one times

either look me in the eye or say it –
say it to my face before twenty years
compound in gelatinous misery
or wash away like waves on the shore.

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